My Sad, Sad New Hobby

I enjoy having downtime, but even then I, like most people, need things to keep my mind busy. This is easier said than done as an almost-30-year-old in an apartment. I think if we had a house, I would keep myself occupied with yardwork or trying to teach myself how to do household repairs or improvements. As it is, we can’t mess with the apartment. There is no grass to mow, no garage to do a project in, and no rooms to make improvements upon. So way too much of my free time gets spent staring at computer screens or the TV. And with the extreme heat hitting again, and Baxter already panting after just minutes outside, we’ll be spending more time than usual indoors to stay cool. 

Sadly, my ways of passing time without spending too much money usually come down to watching the Twins lose (which is more stressful than fun the past two years), thinking of ways of keeping the beagle from destroying our possessions, working away at completing TV series on Netflix, and browsing the web. And these activities are all too often accompanied by the consumption of beer.

This is kinda pathetic, but lately my favorite hobby has been replying to spam e-mail. But there is a method to this madness. I hope to reply to 50-60 spam e-mails and start a new funny blog where I post the whole thread. It is already a huge hit at work, and I have several co-workers both past and present who are just as involved in this project as I am. If you think I’m the first to try this, you are wrong—I was inspired by this guy. He is just terrorizing real people’s Craigslist postings mostly, but it’s the same basic idea.

Unless someone can think of a better way for me to pass the time (and I’m open to suggestions), I am going to proceed with this hilarious project.

Home Alone, Baxter Regressing

Lauren is away for a couple days on a team-building work trip to Oakland and San Francisco, so it’s been just me and the beagle since Wednesday morning. Lauren woke up Wednesday morning just 65 minutes before her group was scheduled to meet at her gate for the flight. Again, if this had been me, I’d be freaking out… okay, it wasn’t even my trip and I was still freaking out a bit. But Lauren casually got ready and wound up being the sixth person of 20 in her group to arrive.

I came home at lunch break to make sure Baxter was okay in his new Thundershirt, our latest attempt to nip his asinine separation anxiety disorder in the bud. Somehow, whether through my poor application of the shirt or his utter determination, the velcro shirt had been bitten and torn off and was wrapped around his hind legs. And an internet cable was chewed in half. And there were several pee stains on the floor. And carpet was torn up again. I damn near lost it. NOTHING works with this dog. So when I left to go back to work, I made god damn sure that Thundershirt was wrapped around him really good and tight and there would be no easy ways for him to take it off. When I came back from work, I was pleasantly surprised to see him sleeping in his new cage, still wearing the shirt, with very minimal damage to the apartment. I pray that wasn’t a fluke.

It doesn’t sound like things are much better for Small Hound at his daycare either. Today when I came to pick him up, one of the employees told me they are worried about Baxter’s development. He seems to be regressing while the other puppies are learning. Baxter often gives up when being chased and lays on his back and lets other dogs attack him, essentially surrendering. The employees think one of these times some dog is going to take a cheap shot at him while he’s laying there not defending himself and that’ll be it for him. He also antagonizes all the other dogs into playing with him. He doesn’t get it that some of these 14-year-old dogs don’t have the ability to chase him around and won’t leave them be. They are strongly recommending some additional classes for him, or daycare may not be an option, and then we’re really screwed.

At night I had Brian Mego, Mike Franklin, and two of their friends over for a poker night. All the other people I invited declined at the last minute, but the five of us carried the game on well into the night. I was in the final two, and was super tired, so just went all-in blind on the last hand and hoped for the best, but turned over a 2 and 7 and lost the game. Oh well.

And tonight it’s time to take a night to relax by myself. Baxter is a little tired from daycare and is snoozing away. I picked up some tequila and margarita mix and some Indian food and am parking it in front of the TV watching the Twins game in the nice cool AC.

Beagle Turns 1, TV, Work Busy

Just for the sake of updating, I will update even though nothing interesting is happening and I don’t really feel like it!

• The next TV series we’re hammering through is a bit of a surprise, and a bit of a guilty pleasure. Lauren started watching Desperate Housewives from the beginning and though I tried to ignore it, every time that damn Marcia Cross came on screen I would find myself unable to look away. So I just gave in and started watching along with her.
• Lauren and I will be taking in MLB games in both Texas stadiums in the next few weeks. June 2 we’ll be joined by the new-to-Austin Bartholics and venturing back to Houston for a game vs. the Reds, and a month later Hot Lunch Precious Metal comes to town and we’re taking in the Twins and Rangers.
• Work has been over-the-top busy of late. I have more e-mail templates to come up with than I can possibly keep up with. We need to hire the Patrick replacement asap!
• Lauren proved once again she’s the lady for me—she came home from the grand opening of a new Whole Foods Wednesday night with 15 pounds of meat, a bunch of beer, and various cookies in tow. How did she know that meat, beer, and cookies were my favorites?
• I don’t care much for the NHL Playoffs, but how is no one talking about the LA Kings, owners of a losing record and the #8 seed, just two wins away from the Stanley Cup Finals? A losing record?! 
• Baxter celebrated his first birthday last Friday and celebrated with balloons, party hats, a gourmet doggy cookie, and a few new bones. He even got a present in the mail from uncles Rufus and Buster back on the farm in Carpenter!

Tales from the Mighty Silverado

Not to be a hypocrite after photographing many terrible park jobs over the years, I decided my most recent park job was so miserable that I had to document it.  I pulled into the apartment complex late last night after helping a friend move some furniture, put it in park, and never thought twice.  I was out the door to work early this morning, long before most people had even woken up, when I noticed this atrocity of a park job.  I am not sure the car next to me could have even gotten out.

On the way to work this morning, the pickup was totally out of gas, so I stopped and put $75 worth of fuel in the tank. After seeing the gas gauge, I wondered if I had overfilled the tank and put a few gallons in the bed. Have you ever seen a gauge reading this full?? I feel like I can drive 230 miles before it gets under 100%.

I had been meaning to take the pickup in for an oil change ever since buying it and kept putting it off, until yesterday when I was out driving and I noticed the sticker in the windshield said “next service due: July 7, 2005.”  I didn’t really believe that was accurate… would it still be running seven years overdue? Anyway, all is tuned up and humming along smoothly now.  Now to get that damn AC going.  The mechanic said the compressor wasn’t kicking in.  Oh, to have Dick’s Garage a short drive away!

Friendliness

Is It the Beagle or the City?
We have had surprisingly little trouble meeting new friends here in town, and I have many times wondered if it has more to do with the friendly outgoing nature of the people in Austin, or the friendly outgoing nature of our beagle constantly in tow that brings smiles to the faces of all whose laps he jumps onto.

Today, for instance, we ended up sitting outside on the patio at a German bar/restaurant Easy Tiger downtown with Baxter. A while later, another couple with a beagle sat near us and we instantly struck up a conversation and hit it off very quickly. (Baxter even had some good old fashioned male-on-male sex with the other beagle!)

I can honestly say that Lauren and I never randomly went out to a bar or restaurant in Minneapolis, met some strangers, and exchanged business cards with plans to meet up later on. Yet it happens like every couple weeks here!

I am pretty sure it’s a combination of Baxter being a great conversation starter in what has to be the country’s most dog-friendly city, plus Austin being a city of thousands of newly-relocated couples who don’t know many other people.

Twins Historically Horrible. Like, Worst Team in Baseball History Horrible. Seriously. I’m Glad They Can’t Have My Money This Season.
I know I complain a lot about the Twins, but this time it is justified. They have NINE HITS in their last four games coming into Sunday. That is the all-time worst four-game stretch in MLB history. I swear to God I could have done better myself. If the Twins would give me the chance to prove myself I would take them up on it. A team of Ryan clones could have blindly flung a bat and made more contact. The Twins current run is so horrendous that if a Black Sox type of team were being paid by gamblers to throw four games, the law of averages would tell you that they would still get more than 2.3 hits per game even if they were trying to fail. A little nubber in front of the plate can be a hit, after all. I think the team is dreadfully bad, but to have this abysmal streak there has to be just a ton of bad luck involved too. Every break is going against them in addition to their suckiness.

They wouldn’t have even scored a run in their past five games had Mariners’ reliever Matt Wilhelmson not stupidly thrown to second base instead of home plate on Friday night. Everyone is down on the pitching, but I’m more upset about the hitting. I’ve always said for years that I could withstand a crappy team as long as they played some tight, high-scoring games, like 10-7 or 9-8 type of games.

Some are trying their damnedest to find a silver lining in the Twins’ worst start in team history, such as cheap ticket prices for the remainder of the season and high future draft picks. But I’m not sure that the Twins incompetent front office could make good use of a #1 or #2 draft pick. I would probably take advantage of the cheap tickets due to Target Field still being one of the greatest stadiums in the league, but I promise I’d be booing as the team ran onto the field.

All that said, I am still watching every game I can, and just made definite plans to see the team play the Rangers over 4th of July weekend when Colin is in town. Why do I keep torturing myself?! I don’t live in Minnesota anymore, I shouldn’t dwell on this! But it is ingrained in me to hate every other team. I think if the Astros’ games weren’t blacked out on MLB.TV, I could stand to cheer for their underdog team of misfits + Carlos Lee.

Here’s the only thing I can come up with that puts the Twins miserable start into some perspective. The Charlotte Bobcats this year went 7-59 in the NBA, which isn’t a great comparison because NBA teams more typically have extreme seasons. Regardless, the Twins would have to lose their next 39 games to match the Bobcats season.

Pictures from the Past Week

Lauren and I touring the Austin Beerworks Brewery, just a mile from our apartment. The Hot and Cold Liquor tanks were colorful.

Lauren and I managed to edge out Rob and Elizabeth in a game of bean bags at the Pour House on Friday night.

Baxter typically isn’t allowed to ride up front, but he was so hot in the 95-degree weather today that he needed the extra AC coverage.

Baxter’s Brush with Death, Busy at Work, Pete in Town

Busy at Work
Hi everyone! It’s been a wild week here. How wild? Well, I stayed at work past 5:00 on both Wednesday and Thursday! That’s how busy it was at the office as I attempted, and eventually succeeded, to get a very complicated $100 instant rebate working on the website, as well as beginning the process of adding 95 new apparel items. We said goodbye to one of the members of our team as Patrick left for a new job. He is the first from the team to leave since I started.

I realized last week that it had been a full year since I responded to the Craigslist ad about the Callaway job. It doesn’t seem possible that that was an entire year ago. As soon as the calendar flips to May on Tuesday, I will have lived in Austin during every month of the year after arriving in June last year. Everyone always yaps about how quickly time flies by, but in this case it absolutely has. I never had a school year that whipped by so fast.

How Baxter Learned Easter Candy Isn’t for Dogs, and How We Learned Not to Keep Easter Candy in a Dog’s Reach
On Friday night we had a few friends over, watched some MLB.TV, and tipped back a few drinks. Around midnight, things were quieting down, when our new-to-town friend Ryan suggested he treat us to drinks and apps at the bar down the street. We piled into his car and left Baxter home alone for an hour at most. While we were sitting at the bar, Lauren said to us that she remembered she had left a few Cadbury Eggs sitting down low where Baxter might be able to get them. “Oh posh!” I yelled. “He’ll be fine!”

But he wasn’t. When we got home, the Cadbury Eggs were gone, not a trace of a wrapper in sight, and Baxter was sprinting in circles around the coffee table. And then he would stop and whimper a bit, and then he would be balls-to-the-wall crazy again. Then we noticed the gynormous pile of crap under the TV stand and knew something was awry. It took a bit of research and a big spoonful of salt-water forced down his throat, and even then Baxter’s little tummy was strong and he didn’t spit up a damn thing. Lauren, obviously very concerned, spent the night on the couch coddling him, making sure his lungs were still pumping.  Around 3 Lauren and Baxter came to bed, but around 4 I woke up to my legs being soaked. At first I thought perhaps I had wet the bed, but it soon became apparent that Baxter had climbed into bed and peed on me, soaking the sheets. We got up and threw the bedding in the laundry, I showered, and took him outside to burn off some energy. I never really did get much sleep that night. In the morning, I took Baxter for a 3.94 mile run and managed to tire him out.  He was perfectly fine from then on.

Pete Visits Austin
Next on our list of visitors to town was Lauren’s step-brother Pete Anderson, who came to town for a conference and flew in a day early to hang out with us. The highlight of his trip, as is everyone’s, was probably the food and drink. We had lunch at Rudy’s BBQ, dinner at Santa Rita Tex-Mex, then went out to The Elephant Room, a jazz club downtown. Sunday we had brunch at Snack Bar on South Congress and then grilled out at the pool for dinner. Pete entertained us all weekend with his endless stories.

Etc.
So, our weekend was go-go-go and we never really had much of a chance to sit around for long. I think our calendar for the week is all clear and we are going to take it easy for a bit.

The Twins have been angersome to watch, but, as I rediscover every year, the very next day is a new day and I’m once again excited to tune in, no matter how bad they’re playing. I have always maintained that I am a fan of high-scoring games, and even if the Twins are losing, I’ll be happy as long as they’re scoring some runs. They aren’t scoring a lot of runs, but they are sixth in the majors with a team average of .266, so they are giving themselves plenty of chances. I am now one of 200 people participating in the TwinsDaily.com project of “adopt-a-prospect” where all the forum members are writing weekly reports on a particular minor league prospect. I selected a AA relief pitcher, Daniel Turpen, and will be following his day-to-day progress for this site. Eh, kinda interesting, I don’t know.

In weather news, it seems we are headed right back to where we were last summer here in Texas. It’s already been weeks since it last rained, and there is no rain in the ten-day forecast either. The grass is slowly starting to turn brown in some spots. Temps have been in the high 80s for a week now, with hotter temps coming up. Once again, a quick look back a year ago today had me praying the MSP International Airport runway would be clear of snow for our upcoming trip to NY/Boston. What a different place this is, indeed!

Baxter spent Tuesday at the office with me. Here he is trying to get up on my lap so he can help my efficiency so we can go home sooner.

The Marketing and IT teams bid adieu to Patrick with a heartfelt farewell lunch on Thursday.

Pete and Lauren outside Ginny's Little Longhorn Saloon, where we enjoyed some ice cold Lone Stars on Saturday.