True Detective

Last night it was an all-out downpour! We received almost 4″ of rain in 10 hours. What better way to spend a rainy night than marathon-watching the last half of the HBO series True Detective!

For months all my co-workers have been pestering me to watch the show. I think I might literally have been the only one on the Marketing team to have not seen it. So, we plowed through over four hours of the show in one sitting. At one point, during a particularly creepy scene, amidst the crashing thunder outside, our doorbell rang. I might be exaggerating but I feel like it was 10:00 or later. I opened the door a couple inches expecting a masked gunman to force his way inside, but it was the UPS man finishing up his badly delayed delivery route.

Anyway, the show was excellent. Great acting by the leads, Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey. For a couple of wimps like me and Lauren who don’t normally have the guts to watch anything remotely scary, this was not the thing to watch right before bed on a stormy night.



The big tree in our front yard is nearly dead. Last year I was none the wiser and hired some company to come out and remove a few dead limbs for the hefty sum of $400.  This year, noticing a few more dead limbs that are quite the eyesore with no leaves, I invested in a tree trimming saw with expandable handle for $40 and decided to do the job myself.

From the ground, the limb and branches didn’t seem that big, but once they came crashing down I ran like hell for cover. They were much heavier and bulkier than they looked 20 feet up in the air. I did it in three segments and then used my drill jigsaw attachment to cut them into smaller pieces. I’ll plan to keep the big pieces for firewood next winter.

It’s also that time of year–already–where I’m back to going through 4-5 shirts per day if I’m going to do anything whatsoever outdoors and it’s only May 11! Again, something I maybe should have taken into greater consideration a few years ago. This time it took me about 20 minutes to soak completely through one shirt and 10 more minutes to go through a second.





Hospital Route Established; Dog Turns 3

Today we went on a tour of the hospital where the baby will be delivered in mid-August. Many other couples were in attendance as well as we paraded around the hospital. That part wasn’t my concern so much as the ride there. I paid very close attention to the route to the hospital and then which entrance to take and which awning to drive up to and which doors to go in. Likely my duty will be to navigate the trusty Impala to the hospital, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to get stuck in traffic or take a wrong turn.

It shouldn’t be a difficult drive under any circumstance; traffic is rarely an issue heading west-bound on Parmer Lane. It took only 7 minutes, 30 seconds to get there, and that took into account a couple of mis-steps. I feel like I can shave the drive time down to about 6:20 without speeding much. I just don’t want to run into a situation like this one where I’m speeding and then the cops stop me and we’re critically delayed. Or a situation like where Mom and Dad had to stop and deliver Jordan at a stranger’s house en route to the hospital.

In other news, Baxter sent me out to pick up some Mother’s Day gifts for his human mother, Lauren. I returned home with some stargazer lilies and two pints of Ben & Jerry’s Peanut Butter Cup ice cream. That darned mutt is always thinking of others! Speaking of which, it is Baxter’s third birthday tomorrow, at which point I’ve decided I’ll discontinue the use of Mr. Baby, one of my favorite nicknames for him.

To celebrate a little early, I gave Baxter permission to eat straight from his food bin this morning. A beagle like Roscoe may have finished the whole thing, but Baxter doesn’t like his dry food enough to put a dent in it.20140510_091322

Blog Streak Begins!

I am going to attempt to write something every day for the foreseeable future. I think it would be fun to look back a few years from now once this tiny baby is running around and see what sorts of things we were going through. I’m not sure I have enough content to do that, but it will force me to think of something!

Today at work I was pranked into believing some stranger was so angry with me that he set up a Yelp page for me as an individual and wrote a terrible 1-star review. He was bashing things such as my yapping on and on about Minnesota teams and Baxter and harassing small children after finding a photo online of me tossing nieces around in a hotel pool. I didn’t really know who was behind it, but it was obvious that it was a prank and all signs pointed to someone in the office. By day’s end, co-worker Brian Byrne-Soria had stepped forward and admitted it was his work… with the help of many colleagues, apparently. But I’m a good sport and played along with the prank before flagging the review as inappropriate. The review itself was removed, but the Ryan Glanzer page on Yelp remains with several other reviews posted from Facebook friends.

Baxter has been adjusting well to us being back home. When we picked him up on Saturday night he looked horrible. His eyes were baggy as if he hadn’t slept a wink and he looked malnourished. His separation anxiety must have gotten the best of him while we left him in our friends’ care. Obviously it was no fault of the Viviritos and Megos who were extremely gracious to watch after the little mongrel, but rather a poor dog with some anxiety issues that need sorting out. This week I’ve started running Baxter again, we’ve let him sleep in our bed, and we’ve been mixing in some tastier food so he’ll start eating again… and he’s finally back in good spirits. What a nut.

Tonight we ate chili for dinner, which Lauren prepared ahead of time and left in the crockpot through the day. Perhaps as a result of being in the grocery biz, Lauren has been super at coming up with a meal plan on Sundays, doing all the shopping, and even doing a lot of the prep work for each meal so I can come home from work and throw things in a pot or something and make dinner easily. Tonight our chili and cornbread was a perfect fit for the 3-minute storm that passed through while we sat and watched the NFL Draft, the most overrated thing ever.

Baby Dream Is Creepy

Last night I had my first dream about the future baby, and it was really alarming.

The baby was born quick and painlessly, and it was a boy. The Glanzers were all there in the waiting room as Lauren carried him out. The baby quickly went from tiny and baby-like to 40 pounds with stubbly facial hair. Moments later, the baby was speaking full sentences and was significantly larger.

So as far as baby dreams go, it’s Boy 1, Girl 0.

As ridiculous as that dream was, it was better than some previous generic baby dreams of me lifting someone else’s baby’s head into a ceiling fan repeatedly.

In other baby news, we toured our first daycare today. It seems so early, but this is a major city and most places are already filled and we need to get on a waiting list 6-9 months in advance. Whatever we wind up with ain’t gonna be like your local Willow Lake daycare, unfortunately. Anything under $1000/month should be considered a bargain. Where we’ll come up with all that extra cash remains to be seen. I’ll be scoping out some contract projects and we’ll stop feeding the beagle, for starters.

Vacation Recap

We’ve returned to Austin after eight days in the Twin Cities! The timing was due to the baby, mostly, as we don’t want to be traveling too close to the due date, and also because timing worked out for both our jobs. Never mind that I said “never again!” a year ago after traveling north on approximately the same dates and ran into a historic blizzard.

It has been three years since we departed the Twin Cities for hotter pastures, and I think I’ve completely lost touch with how depressing six months of winter can be and how depressing having a dead-end job with no prospects can be. Because going back to Minneapolis to visit this past week, chilly rainy weather and all, I kept trying to remember why I was so excited to get out of there! Every day was a blast! Of course it’s easy to look at things that way when you are on vacation blowing through hard-earned money and don’t have to deal with driving in snow or going to a job, and can instead just focus on the fun things.

Anyway, let’s see if I have the brain capacity to recap the trip.

Friday, April 24 – I dropped Baxter off at his sitter’s house, picked up Lauren at work, and we eeked our way through rush hour traffic to the airport, arriving in plenty of time for our one-way flight to MSP. We got in late and picked up our rental car, which was upgraded for free to a Mazda CX-5, a car we are strongly considering leasing. We arrived to the Rosoks’ house and were in bed fairly early.

Saturday, April 25 – Tim and I took Annika to the park in the morning, and in the afternoon we arrived at the home of Walsh and Sarah who had happily agreed to host a “Welcome Back, Glanzers!” themed backyard BBQ. Many of our closest friends and Lauren’s family showed up to celebrate the occasion, and the party went on well into the night, ending with a group of us cheering on the Wild in the playoffs. When the party disbanded, Tim and I stopped off at the Tailgate to watch the third period. I attempted to liven the mood of the bar with some ill-timed Alan Parsons Project karaoke that coincided with the Avalanche winning in overtime.

Sunday, April 26 – On the morning of Lauren’s baby shower, Mom, Jordan and her kids, and Alex and his family were in town, and if I wanted to see them for even a few hours, we had to go out to breakfast. Through a driving thunderstorm, we caravanned to People’s Organic Coffee in Edina where the twelve of us ate a tasty brunch. In the afternoon, the girls all went over to Grandma Joyce’s for Lauren’s baby shower, while Steve hosted all the men for a baby “thunderstorm” party.

Monday, April 27 – With our plans to wander our old Uptown neighborhood thwarted by another day of rain, Lauren and I still managed to grab a coffee and bagel at Common Roots in the morning. We then shopped at the wildly overpriced Target Field pro shop, took a spin around a hole in the ground where the Metrodome used to be, and grabbed a burger at the famous Matt’s Bar. In the evening, we were treated to dinner at George & The Dragon by the Andersons. At night, Lauren, Walsh, Tim and I watched a thrilling Wild victory at Northbound Smokehouse.

Tuesday, April 28 – Lauren and I headed back to Uptown to visit a Caribou for coffee since you can’t easily find them down south (there’s one location in Texas, somewhere near Houston). We ate lunch at an old favorite, Jasmine 26. We then wandered the Mall of America for some team apparel before heading over to visit our good friends, the Burke-Assmann family in Eden Prairie. At night, Steve and Anne had us over for Famous Dave’s BBQ. I was excited to try out Famous Dave’s again to see how it holds up to our Texas BBQ, and the results were fairly surprising. The style of brisket is far-and-away better in Texas, but the ribs were amongst the best I’ve had!

Wednesday, April 29 – Lauren and I ate lunch at Punch Pizza, a local chain where they heat the oven up to 800 degrees and cook a pizza in 90 seconds flat. In the afternoon we met up with Walsh and Sarah to take in the Twins-Dodgers game. Thanks to more cold, rainy weather, we were able to snag Legends Club tickets for under $30. We split time between our outdoor seats and the indoor club area as the Dodgers won, 6-4. We caught the end of the Wild game on TV at Walsh’s as they upset the Avalanche and won the series.

Thursday, April 30 – It was a big day for baseball. I mean a GIGANTIC day for baseball. After brunch at Hell’s Kitchen, Walsh and Sarah joined us for Game 1 of the Twins-Dodgers double-header, which the Dodgers won easily, 9-4. The girls headed home, but Walsh and I decided to tough it out for the second game of the double-dip, along with old chums Patrick and Nick. Not only was it the second full baseball game of the day, but time-wise the game was the longest Twins game since 2002, lasting over 5 1/2 hours. If you go back and watch the last few innings on MLB.TV and turn the Audio/Video Options to Natural Ballpark Sound, you’ll hear a few obnoxious idiot fans screaming at the Dodgers. That would be us.

Friday, May 1 – It was a family day as Lauren and I met up with Grandma Joyce and Aunt Alice for lunch at Parma in Bloomington. After a jaunt to the yarn store in St. Paul for a souvenir, we met up with Tim and Kate for happy hour and dinner at Blackbird in Minneapolis, followed by yet another Wild hockey viewing at the Tailgate.

Saturday, May 2 – The trip was fast coming to a close. Kate cooked breakfast as we packed, and after one last trip to the park with Annika, we were on our way to the airport.

So yeah, it was great to get back! Super duper, as Joyce would put it. It rained almost the entire time non-stop, but it was actually rather refreshing as we just don’t ever see prolonged dreary weather like that in Texas. Plus, the rainy weather turned out brilliantly in our favor in terms of getting amazing ticket prices for all three Twins games. After all that eating out and all the beer I drank during the Twins games and cheering on the Wild, I came home and was not at all surprised to have gained 5-6 pounds during the week.

Of course I still like our life here in Austin, but weeks like this make it a little sad to think what a huge percentage of our PTO it takes and how much money we have to save up to see friends and family for a few days a year. And after our big trip, we still were only able to see things on the Minnesota side and didn’t even make it out of the metro over to Carpenter for so much as a day! So, that’s something that is always on my mind for a few days after we return from trips back. But that’s a blog for a different day.

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